A Public Service Announcement
I understand during certain times of the year, humans enjoy igniting explosive devices and watching them explode. I realize they look pretty and are oh so very exciting. As a dog, I implore you: Stop. Stop blowing shit up. I know, I am using a profanity but this is a serious subject for me. Just stop. Every time I hear the hissing noise of your explosive flying up into the air, I begin to pant fast, you can see the whites of my eyes, and I try to sit on Mommy. And so you know, Mommy cannot hold a 150 pound Irish Wolfhound in her lap too easily. Then, when I hear BOOM! I then want to crawl up the wall and hide in the rafters, or in a closet, or in a fireplace (preferably one without a fire), or in any location where I have the false sense of security. So again, stop with the blowing up of shit so I and all the other dogs your hear howling in the neighborhood from the sheer terror of your explosives can relax.
Thank you for your immediate and prompt cooperation in this matter.