NEWMAN!

Saturday morning I was out back, minding my own business of course, when I heard a yipping from the back fence. Typically, I hear yipping from either side of my kingdom but never from the back. So of course, in my curious Wolfhound fashion, I had to investigate. I tromped over to the back fence and what did I find? A Jack Russell Terrier. A very barky excited Jack Russell Terrier named Newman who was all up in my bid-ness. Well of course I sniffed and wagged and greeted. After all, I am the king of friendly kindness.

And I thought this sniffing between the fence would be it. But what? What? Hello? What's going on here? Dude? What are you DOING? Sure enough, the little bugger squeezed himself under the fence and jumped and jumped and jumped for joy.

WHOA! Settle down! I'm a wise older man without your impish energy. I can't keep up with whatever crazy is going on in your head.

Zipping. Back. And. Forth. Never ending energy! So I played along. I galloped. I woofed. I stomped. A one footed stomp of course. And he dashed and zipped and HEY WAIT! He nipped and then again NIPPED! Whoa!Whoa!WHOA! Do you know who you are dealing with? The king of dogs? The wise and woolly? But no, this little guy wanted to be the boss. The Napoleon Complex could not be quashed. I played the final card and bared my teeth.

By this point, Mama and Daddy came out back, grabbed me and then scooted the little feller over the fence. Did it stop? Did he fear me and stay on his side of the fence?

No. Back under the fence he came. Again Mama grabbed him and Daddy found pieces of wood to cover up the gaps. No matter what we did, he came back until finally there were no spaces for him to slither underneath to gain access to my kingdom.

And so he sits there by the fence. Barking. Hoping to regain entrance to be in the presence of greatness.