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All Our Children Meow and Woof

I created this blog to sort through my emotions as Finnegan, a great Irish Wolfhound, fought bone cancer for nearly 26 months. Fortunately, his battle subsided for many months and during the course of the 26 months, I shared stories about his feline siblings. On August 8, 2008, Finny passed on in my husband's and my arms. He fought the good fight and he will always have a special place in my heart. *If you have a question, please write me at finnegandog at gmail dot com.*

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

I Worry

I am genetically engineered to worry about the small stuff, the big deals, and everything in between. As you, whoever you are, are aware, Finnegan was diagnosed with bone cancer over a year ago and had surgery to remove his entire leg. He has endured chemotherapy. However, he is pretty much the same dog. He eats a lot, walks around, and enjoys his time with us.

Still. I worry. It's been just over a year. When I see him, I hear a voice in the back of my head: Median survival rate is 18 months.

I calculate that's it's been 13 months. Then I wonder: is it eighteen months from diagnosis, surgery or the end of chemotherapy? I think it's from diagnosis and I sigh. How much longer do I have with this wonderful dog? Does he look weak? Has his breathing changed? Is he panting more than usual?

When I arrive home from work, I race to make sure he is still with us. I know this is terribly morbid but this has been on my mind a lot lately and since this is Finnegan and my blog, I wanted to share what I am feeling now. My worry and angst.

I relish in my time spent with him. I demand kisses and hugs as much as I can. I lie on the floor next to him savoring each moment. I laugh at each time he shoves me away with his one remaining front leg.

Still, I do worry.

10 Comments:

Blogger Kerrio said...

Carpe Diem.

There's lies, damned lies, and statistics.

And Deerhounds have an average life expectancy of about 9 years.

*shrug*

Snog Finn from me today please.

Kerrio

2:40 AM  
Blogger KuBrin Kaos said...

Yeah, wot she said !!!

Just WOT do doctors know, huh ?

4:31 AM  
Blogger nm said...

What they said.

Averages, statistics and worse case scenarios, pffthpht on that.


I am also a worrier. I constantly worry.

nm

4:26 PM  
Blogger PerfectTosca said...

Nevermind! Finney is here and Finney is staying here. That's final! Harumph! Now you just hop over to my blog because I nominated Finney for the Rockin' Dog Award. Pick up your button, Finney! I love you!

Tosca

6:35 AM  
Blogger Sophie Brador said...

As long as Finnegan is happy, he will keep on. They always say this about dogs and people. Almost every person i know whose ever gotten one of those worst case scenario type of diagnoses has so completely outlived it that it kind of makes you wonder where these doctors are getting these numbers from. I personally think they pull them randomly out of hats. Keep giving Finny all the love and happiness you can and he will keep right on giving it back.

3:59 PM  
Blogger wally said...

We're worriers here, too. But statistics are averages and there's nothing average about Finny.

wally.

9:04 PM  
Blogger Graham & Prince said...

I can totally identify with your worries - I am also a compulsive worrier about my dog who has Lymphoma. I also think of the average survival time and work out whether we'll make it to Christmas or not. On a bright note - I met someone who's dog had tripled the statistic and was still going strong, so perhaps we worry too much! Feel free to have a look at my worries at http://grahamandprince.blogspot.com/ if you get a moment....

9:07 PM  
Blogger Cubby said...

Poor mom. I bet Finnie worries about you, too.

9:52 PM  
Blogger Asta said...

I understand your worries, cause I'm like that too..and we never have enough time with those we love..I worry that my husband's cancer will return..but like you I treasure each day and am grateful for the sweet loves in my life..some people never have that..Finny is special and wonderful and you have each othe r NOW!!! that's what counts..he'll be here a long long time still
hugs and kisses Asta's mom
many smoochie kisses to Finny from Asta

12:22 AM  
Blogger WinstonBerry said...

Finny is a wonderful boy and so very lucky to have such a wonderful home and family! With his huge heart, love of life and loving family, I'm sure Finny will be around a looooong time!!!

Smoooooches!
--Winnie :-)

10:47 PM  

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