FAILURE!

I have the BEST yard EVER. There is this wonderful thing called mud where I can lounge in it and get nice and dirty. Then, when Mummy lets me inside for my ANABOLIC STEROIDS AHRRRRRR and breakfast, I can shake the mud on her nice neat work clothes and THEN she can stay home with moi because her clothes are dirty and she cannot do her lawyering with dirty clothes.

But no. She has MORE THAN ONE PAIR OF PANTS! She can take off the muddy pants, put on a new pair, AND get the muddy pants dry cleaned! How does that work? Why doesn't she want to stay home and play with me? I simply cannot fathom her desire to sit at a desk and leave me at home with the weirdo cats. Humans are soooo odd.